i can no longer remember the date of when my son got out. but what i remember is i got the call that he was out of iraq. and then nothing . and i mean nothing. not a phone call not a letter not a card nothing for about three months. the family was frantic this silence was killing us all slowly. my son wouldnt talk to anyone but his one sister who was not passing along much of anything to us at all on how he was or nothing. we were all in the dark. totally.
and my mothers heart as tramatised as it was sometimes wondered if i lost him in iraq and just wasnt facing the tune. that is how crazy i was and how crazy this total silent thing he had going was driving me.
three months with out a word how come his sister wouldnt just let us all know what was going on? heck if i know she wasnt my daughter just his sister by his real dad. and communicating with the family seemed to end on her side once he got out.
it was totally aweful
this young man my youngest child and youngest son who swore when he went into the navy that he couldnt wait to get out and come home to all of us suddenly ran the other way. suddenly acted like he hated us or didnt want a thing to do with any of us at all ever again. and it was just killing me
my hubby finally in talking to him once he called convinced him to seek counciling before he got out of the navy it took a few calls before my son would finally seek that help. but he did .
still he wouldnt come home. he moved close to his sister and it took me along time to just put it all to rest and let go finally and say ok its ok and i am glad he has someone to run too even if its not me or his closest sister he grew up with who is my youngest daughter.
its been well past a year now since he got out of the navy and he still hasnt moved home but at least he is living someplace with a purpose in mind. and that is to get some schooling.
he still doesnt talk to his ma much but for me for now that is ok. and he still isnt coming home. he doesnt know why yet but that is the way it is for now.
until he comes home his navy flag... the us flag and the yellow ribbon will hang in my window. and for now with me its all ok ..........
it isnt over yet. by far.
USA Navy Vetern mom signing out. until we met again
Friday, December 01, 2006
his time in Iraq
alot of time has gone by since i began this post of being a Navy Mom. since then my son has gone to Iraq and also to Gitmo Bay and has gotten out of the Navy in one peice yahooooooooooo. but the tramma of being a Navy Mom didnt end there.
let me pick up this story where i left off.
i was last seen in here a total basket case and that wasnt going to stop in fact it was going to become far worse then i had ever thought it could become.
my son came home to alaska on his last leave. and we sat and talked at the breakfast bar here and he was telling me flat out about his buddies that he lost in iraq . my son was a navy medical corpsman and for some reason he was seperated from his frist unit after they spent all that time togeather and had gone to japan for a year and back. well his troops went to bagdad with out him. and during the frist week there 12 of them were lost. it hunted my son totally and i knew it. and i knew in my heart when he talked about them he was looking for something from me. something that was... i knew going to be the toughest thing a mother could do. so finally i said almost in tears. son a man has to do what a man has to do. if you have to go then go and know i love you know my prayers will follow you no matter where you go . always.
he left for the base shortly after that and then i got my call and he told me... ma i am heading for Iraq. i said in what turned out to be one of the smallest voices a mom could muster ok i love you . and that was it he was gone.
during his time over there which went from aug to i think around feb a 6 month tour . i was suddenly dead flat broke. not a penny coming in at all . hubby was working but what he made sure didnt cover a thing.
so i sat in tears at christmas and made paper cards and sent him one card per day sent him stories and home made orniments.
i felt so so badly that for the whole time he was in the navy this one time of it all i couldnt do a thing for him
and i cried and i cried and i prayed and i prayed and i logged onto military moms.net and i posted and read and kept in touch with other military moms
because i found alot of people didnt understand the total horror a mother goes through emotionally when they have a child in harms way.
i had people come up to me and ask how he was only to listen to them say you know your not the only one with a kid in this war you should get over it. like i said something horribly wrong. i learned early on not to mention what i was going through and to smile and nodd and say oh yea he is fine. and move on quickly
no one came to my home and said here is a meal or thanks for what your son is doing . or here is a hug. i walked this road totally alone at home but for the miltitary moms on line i would have gone totally nuts.
the 6 months my son did in Iraq were by far the longest months of my life. ones i personally wouldnt wish on anyone .
he called when he could and kept it so so short. but his calls where few and very far between.
i remember our talk before he left. i said to him i dont know if i could go on if something happened to you it would just devistate me. he took me in his arms and held me while i cried and said mom its going to be ok i will be fine and if i die you will go on and live a long happy life ok promise me that . i did and that was it . he lived and came home with out harm to body.
butttttttttt...........
let me pick up this story where i left off.
i was last seen in here a total basket case and that wasnt going to stop in fact it was going to become far worse then i had ever thought it could become.
my son came home to alaska on his last leave. and we sat and talked at the breakfast bar here and he was telling me flat out about his buddies that he lost in iraq . my son was a navy medical corpsman and for some reason he was seperated from his frist unit after they spent all that time togeather and had gone to japan for a year and back. well his troops went to bagdad with out him. and during the frist week there 12 of them were lost. it hunted my son totally and i knew it. and i knew in my heart when he talked about them he was looking for something from me. something that was... i knew going to be the toughest thing a mother could do. so finally i said almost in tears. son a man has to do what a man has to do. if you have to go then go and know i love you know my prayers will follow you no matter where you go . always.
he left for the base shortly after that and then i got my call and he told me... ma i am heading for Iraq. i said in what turned out to be one of the smallest voices a mom could muster ok i love you . and that was it he was gone.
during his time over there which went from aug to i think around feb a 6 month tour . i was suddenly dead flat broke. not a penny coming in at all . hubby was working but what he made sure didnt cover a thing.
so i sat in tears at christmas and made paper cards and sent him one card per day sent him stories and home made orniments.
i felt so so badly that for the whole time he was in the navy this one time of it all i couldnt do a thing for him
and i cried and i cried and i prayed and i prayed and i logged onto military moms.net and i posted and read and kept in touch with other military moms
because i found alot of people didnt understand the total horror a mother goes through emotionally when they have a child in harms way.
i had people come up to me and ask how he was only to listen to them say you know your not the only one with a kid in this war you should get over it. like i said something horribly wrong. i learned early on not to mention what i was going through and to smile and nodd and say oh yea he is fine. and move on quickly
no one came to my home and said here is a meal or thanks for what your son is doing . or here is a hug. i walked this road totally alone at home but for the miltitary moms on line i would have gone totally nuts.
the 6 months my son did in Iraq were by far the longest months of my life. ones i personally wouldnt wish on anyone .
he called when he could and kept it so so short. but his calls where few and very far between.
i remember our talk before he left. i said to him i dont know if i could go on if something happened to you it would just devistate me. he took me in his arms and held me while i cried and said mom its going to be ok i will be fine and if i die you will go on and live a long happy life ok promise me that . i did and that was it . he lived and came home with out harm to body.
butttttttttt...........
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