post to a post on post deployment

there are and will be for awhile alot of things about being a navy mom that come to mind when they do i will make sure i post them
so here goes another walk down memory lane.
before i do so i want to point out i wasnt the only mom that went through this silent treatment thing i know of others that did too. and i am very glad my sons sister was there for him always have been even though it put a huge strain on our relationship and changed that for the time being hopefully it will turn around someday but for now it hasnt.
here is the copy of my post on the mms today, it is in response to a post deployment situtation , and how much war changes them. i am not alone in this but this is what i went through and how i reponded to the post .
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i am sorry to hear this is happening. when Ira came back he didnt call me for three months wouldnt talk to me or his sisters he grew up with at all for nothing. or my hubby his step dad only real dad he ever knew. he just wouldnt talk. to anyone but his one sis he never knew. and i was left to wonder if i would ever see or hear from him again. there were actully times i would wake up and think my son is dead i know it someone forgot to tell me is all. that is how come i havent heard from him i am in shock and dont know it yet or am not facing it. and would call my daughter and tell her how iw as feeling and what i was thinking. and found even she was thinking the same because we were so left out. totally at that time. all i wanted so badly was to hug him count his toes and all that see if he was ok. but he wasnt. he saw things over there and maybe even did things he would never ever dream of doing or seeing in his life because the boy i raised was raised with morals and had a gently loving side to him that was pushed to the max in the middle of a war. as a medical corpsman. i am sure of that in fact i know that. that part is a given. do not take any of this personally the attiudes or any mood swings. think of it this way. i am going to tell you the same thing i have told my kids many times ok. and then had no choice but to walk my own talk. but walk it i did. you would never dream of going to to a stranger and yelling or start a fight with them unless you had good reason . right? because if you do your in for one heck of a fight they do fight backand will in a bad way. keeping that in mind most people who do fight in families are fighting with people they proffess to love. someone they trust. someone they know is going to help them get out of the mess there in somehow . its the cry of a drowning person is what it is. something is over whelming them or upsetting them enough they have to say something some where to someone. and its not always placed in the right diretion. but they place it with someone they know they love and who loves them and they hope deep down will throw them a life line. or find one that will pull them back . there not laying blame at your feet there saying help me i cant do this alone. it took two veitnam vets to talk my son into going for counciling before he left the navy. and then it took months more before i began to see the son that i watched go into the navy imerge again and be his old self as close as he will ever become that man again. and all i could do was love him even though for those long months i didnt hear from him and then when i did it was hit and miss one month and then nothing again for months on end again. and now heck you cant keep him off the phone he calls his mom to see if i am ok or just to talk i hear from him now at least 2 x's a week and he is so loving again and kind and everything he used to be best as it ever will be again. and i cant keep him out of text mesages and i wouldnt dream of it . but he still hasnt come home here yet. that part i am not sure will ever happen but i am ok with it now for the first time since he got out. even if your son in law is a vet he and knows what is going on with your daughter it may take somone else to get her to go for the counciling she needs to get through this. all you can so is keep telling her you love her and remembering the girl you love is still there wounded emotionally but still there. and all you can do is pray and hope and keep telling her no matter what she does you still love her and always will. i remember when i did get the chance to talk to ira once telling him no matter what happned no matter what he may have had to do i still loved him and if he needed to be forgiven he had that from me too. he said he knew and hung up. and i didnt hear from him again for months. i said it to him because i felt he needed to hear that from me . and then i felt bad because he cut me off again. i am now glad that part is over with and done for now at least. married to a vietnam vet i know it may come back again later on but when it does or if i know what to do and i think ira does too now . its not and easy walk to walk but i am here for you and you do have my prayers totally i am sorry i keep editing this post because i keep remembering things that happened to me when all this went down. one of the other things crossed my mind when ira refused to talk to us was maybe he came home wounded or badly scared physically and didnt want me to know and didnt want to return home and be a burden.maybe i dont know because i refused to see or listen or something. even though i knew i would have had a visit from the military ..... i mean come on the things a mother's mind will come up with right ? but i assure you none of it is turth. he is very much alive and well and has all his toes
hugs and love and tons of prayers from me another navy vet mom crissy in alaska