The Box

when my son called home and talked to me it was all i could do to keep from crying. i made a promise to myself that for his sake i wouldnt cry on the phone . and for ages I kept that promise. so what i did was fight it and keep the tears from falling while we talked but the min. i hung up i cried like a baby. Yep i was the one asked by him to hang up i did that faithfully for him because i knew and understood he couldnt do that. say bye see you. so i did the parting things and did the hanging up when he would say got to go .and pause. i never ever said good bye i would say ok see you again soon or i will pray for you and you pray for me. and end it .
anway, during one of our first talks he told me that i would be getting a box in the mail soon it would have in it all personal items that the navy didnt or wouldnt let him keep with him. he explained to me they sent it in the mail now because to many times in the past when the navy walked those to the front door mothers or wives or family members seeing anyone approch in uniform thought it was bad news and this was just easier.
so i was prepared some what i knew that box was going to arrive. and the day it did i knew what it was but i cried like a baby anyway. i couldnt believe the items in that box that were sent back . But that is the navy for you.
it left me with a feeling that i no longer knew what to send him at all. what could he have or keep or what . it was aweful to adjust to being a navy mom. But i did and it took along time . meanwhile i just kept writing to him daily.