Your a navy Mom !!!

about the time of 9-11 and the war broke out in afganistan is then i began to notice things .
it began with a few people in our area . i didnt know what to think there i was a walking emtional wound and i was getting serious negitive feed back anytime i said my son is in the navy. i got SOOO? we have people with kids in the war what makes you so privialged? well i wasnt asking for anything i was just saying i was a navy mom. and i got that along with alot of anti war stuff thrown at me. i very quckly decided my best defence was to keep my mouth shut and not talk. i even got alot of flack out of some family members. like taking all of this out on me would change what was going on anywhere in the world. it sure as heck wasnt going to change what was happening to my family as a direct fact of my son being in the navy.
yes i was a wreck this was not only my youngest child but he was his fathers only son. which just made matters far worse for me.
well i am not one to sit and let things get to out of hand for along time i fight tooth and nail to keep my emtional footing and gain it back if lost. so i did what i could to find a place where i could let it all hang out and say i am scared and my son is in the navy and not get attacked . so i went on line and i found the miltary moms . i tell you i lived in that sight. and i learned alot about being a military mom.
i found out i didnt have it near as bad as some moms who did have children in the war. i already knew that but now i was privy to exactly what they were going through the ups and downs of it all and so began along period of time where all i could do was go in and leave posts and reply to those i could and live with the it could still happen to me . this ma that i am talking to could be me. i watched as mothers and wives got flags back instead of loved ones as we sat in the chat room and prayed for their loved ones and for family and we had our services for those we lost.
and i lived for a long time with this could be me before it was me. and i grew alot during that time. enough to survive it all when he was finally the one going to war but not enough to keep my emotions totally under control during that time.
not once during the time my son was not in the war did any of the moms on line say anything to me that was negative or put me down or walk on my emotions if i happend to have a bad hair day and was totally scared or worried they stood by me shored me up and helped me out and gave me hugs.
that is what i looked for and found in the military moms on line and that is what kept me going back there.
at that time too i walked away from alot of people on my email list because of the same sort of stuff i was getting from people around my own town. now i am not the kind of person to sit and cry like a baby to people if you ask me how i am doing i will be honest and say not so good if you asked me how come i would say worried about my son in the navy. but i never thought doing that would bring out the worst in others during that time but it did.
so i lost alot of on line so called friends and learned who i could talk to and who i couldnt talk to. i even left a chat room because of the negative response i got one time when i went in and said i am scared because by then i had gotten word my son was heading to Iraq and i got well my family member is over there on the front lines yours wont be on the front lines so and it just got worse from there. now mind you i never said were he would be stationed over there because his rule with me was to tell me only the country he would be in but never the location. i really was hurt badly by what was thrown at me that day and so i left. and didnt return . i didnt need that at all and no one in that room that knew me even bothered to stand up for me when i got that attack. i didnt know what to think.
it was the same thing with an email group i belonged to when i got attacked in there after asking for prayers i left. i will just not be a part of something if i am getting walked on. period.
so what is the best thing to do or locate in self ? for one it was a very close walk with God i began to talk to him and pray to him like i never did before . like he was right there with me.
and i found i had to keep my sence of hummor in everything that happend i had to find something to laugh at. that made alot of things i encountered alot easier to take or leave.
see i am not unique i am noting special. nothing to really notice or applaud no i am just a Navy MoM trying to get through this roller coaster ride i didnt sign up for at all or want on but am on .'in the end they say the miltary takes a son and gives you back a man? well it takes a mom and gives you back a tougher person even us moms grow alot in our experiences as military moms.